All Through The Family, episode Q
Pt. I: Yesterday
FIL: (voice in cell phone) Good evening. This is [ ].
Me: (screaming hysterically into cell phone) Hello!!! Would you mind moving your car?!?
FIL: What?
Me: You're blocking my space, and I can't park!!! I just got back from work, and I'm wearing a suit!!! We're in the middle of a torrential rain storm, and there's lightning going off right over my head!!!
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: Why do I have to park down the street?!? Why are you blocking my space?!? I'm...
BOOM!!!
Me: [expletive] That hit a pole not a hundred meters away! I can't get out of my car! Would you PLEASE move yours so I can park?
FIL: Just run to the house. You'll be fine. [click]
Pt. II Today
FIL: That rain today was really something, wasn't it? Mm! Yeah! It was something!
Me: (frosty tone) Yes, it was.
FIL: The rain yesterday was really something, too!
Me: Speaking of which, could you tell me why you blocked my parking space so I couldn't park when I came home last night?
FIL: What?
Me: Remember? Last night? Your car was blocking my space?
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: So I had to park down the street?
FIL: Yeah, that was terrible rain, wasn't it? And that lightning...
Me: And all you had to say was, "Just run to the house. You'll be fine"?
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: In the down-pouring rain, in my suit, with lightning hitting all around me?
FIL: (totally unconcerned) Yesterday I had some blankets hanging outside. When the rain first started, I had to run outside and bring them in.
Me: What?
FIL: I had to bring the blankets in quickly, all by myself. No one was here.
Me: I was at work yesterday...
FIL: And the greenhouse. I had to put on a rain poncho and go out in the down-pouring rain, with lightning hitting all around me, so I could close the door.
Me: I didn't have a rain poncho. I was wearing a suit.
FIL: A suit?
Me: And I had to park down the street...a lot further away than the greenhouse...
FIL: Yeah, that rain was really something, wasn't it? Well, that's enough dinner. I gotta get back to work! Busy...I'm always busy... (leaves)
(And this guy wonders why I'm not more enthusiastic about helping him?)
FIL: (voice in cell phone) Good evening. This is [ ].
Me: (screaming hysterically into cell phone) Hello!!! Would you mind moving your car?!?
FIL: What?
Me: You're blocking my space, and I can't park!!! I just got back from work, and I'm wearing a suit!!! We're in the middle of a torrential rain storm, and there's lightning going off right over my head!!!
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: Why do I have to park down the street?!? Why are you blocking my space?!? I'm...
BOOM!!!
Me: [expletive] That hit a pole not a hundred meters away! I can't get out of my car! Would you PLEASE move yours so I can park?
FIL: Just run to the house. You'll be fine. [click]
Pt. II Today
FIL: That rain today was really something, wasn't it? Mm! Yeah! It was something!
Me: (frosty tone) Yes, it was.
FIL: The rain yesterday was really something, too!
Me: Speaking of which, could you tell me why you blocked my parking space so I couldn't park when I came home last night?
FIL: What?
Me: Remember? Last night? Your car was blocking my space?
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: So I had to park down the street?
FIL: Yeah, that was terrible rain, wasn't it? And that lightning...
Me: And all you had to say was, "Just run to the house. You'll be fine"?
FIL: (monosyllabic grunt of acknowledgment)
Me: In the down-pouring rain, in my suit, with lightning hitting all around me?
FIL: (totally unconcerned) Yesterday I had some blankets hanging outside. When the rain first started, I had to run outside and bring them in.
Me: What?
FIL: I had to bring the blankets in quickly, all by myself. No one was here.
Me: I was at work yesterday...
FIL: And the greenhouse. I had to put on a rain poncho and go out in the down-pouring rain, with lightning hitting all around me, so I could close the door.
Me: I didn't have a rain poncho. I was wearing a suit.
FIL: A suit?
Me: And I had to park down the street...a lot further away than the greenhouse...
FIL: Yeah, that rain was really something, wasn't it? Well, that's enough dinner. I gotta get back to work! Busy...I'm always busy... (leaves)
(And this guy wonders why I'm not more enthusiastic about helping him?)
posted by The Moody Minstrel at
2:25 AM
7 Comments:
Your FIL keeps mentioning about the rain, but doesn't bother at all about you and what you went through because of the rain.... Ah, this is sad... sorry to hear this story, MM.
By
Selba, at 1:07 PM
I can feel your pain - but from this end it is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Sorry...
By
Rock Chef, at 4:51 PM
Selba
This, for him, is typical behavior. He doesn't notice things beyond his own sphere (except that there's a chance he blocked my space on purpose to get "revenge" for my and my wife's being away at work instead of helping him bring his blankets inside. Yes, he is the sort to do that kind of thing).
Rock Chef
Yes, my family situation does seem almost Monty Pythonish at times. Sad but true. It's a lot easier to laugh at if you're not the one getting beaned by an errant albatross.
By
The Moody Minstrel, at 5:14 PM
Be a tolerance S-I-L, don't be so moody. ~_~
By
L.C_D, at 6:53 PM
Buy your FIL a 2-iron golf club and tell him to hold it over his head whenever there is a thunderstorm. "It creates a special resonance in the ions and will protect you from the lightening." Use it next time you have to run out and bring in the laundry.
It seems the word "ions" is very popular in Japan for selling products with bogus science, so maybe he'll buy it.
By
Pandabonium, at 9:45 PM
Panda-B
Hmm...that is an intriguing idea. It's certainly original.
Actually, there is considerable documented evidence of the positive health benefits of negative ions, but there is also a lot of controversy. I know commercial products claiming to use it have far outstripped FDA acknowledgment.
By
The Moody Minstrel, at 2:29 AM
I was thinking of Monty Python too and that Spam episode. LOL! Oops! Some day, you will miss him when life gets too uneventful. Cheer up, life could be worse.
By
HappySurfer, at 8:02 PM
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