The Wall
More than twenty years ago, I was invited to Japan.
They said they wanted me to help take down a wall.
It was a glory and an honor that I'd never have expected,
So I came out of the airport standing tall.
They showered me with welcome, made me feel just like a hero,
And they said they hoped the wall would soon be gone.
Surrounded on all sides by smiles, armed with my imagination,
I got to the task that I'd been set upon.
I chipped away at those old bricks and howled with every hole I made,
But didn't seem to get so far at all.
It seemed the bricks I knocked away were being put in place again;
Indeed, someone was building back the wall.
It wasn't hard to find the culprits undoing the work I'd done;
It was the ones that I'd been sent to aid!
They said they didn't like the wall but feared they couldn't do without it.
Otherwise, they wouldn't make the grade.
"Please try to understand," they said. "We want you to attack the wall,
"But do not want it ever to come down,
"For if it did, we'd lose our purpose and perhaps our reputation.
"We would be the black sheep of the town."
Appealing to the youth was even less successful in the end.
The wall made them feel safer, it would seem,
And they really only wanted to get by with the least effort,
Join society and flush away their dream.
I realized that from the start I'd only been a token,
Just a figurehead sent by official order.
My purpose shot, I all but ceased my efforts to destroy the wall
And just became a human tape recorder.
Eventually I left that role, and just did what I came upon,
But then one day I got another call.
The mysterious academy that stood upon the forest hill
Was asking me again to face the wall.
Though skeptical, I took the task and found what I expected;
Once again I seemed for nothing but appearance.
But suddenly some reins were handed to me, and a saddle offered.
I was given higher-level clearance.
The wall was mine to strike at will, but caution was required.
Little holes would be allowed there to remain.
But if I made a bigger gap, the backlash was immediate,
And so I stayed content with lesser gain.
One year there was a mighty crash; I'd brought an entire section down,
But instead of praise I received only blame.
Relieved of my position, I was relocated and reinstalled
As punishment for not playing the game.
The leader of the PTA complained it was a waste of time;
He really didn't care if his child learned.
He said, "I'm paying you to get my kid into a college.
"All that education stuff can just be burned."
The students, too, were up in arms about the deed I'd done.
They thought the wall was absolutely necessary.
They'd long been trained to see it as a symbol of their status,
And without it they'd be only ordinary.
From that point on I realized that I would serve my purpose best
By putting little holes in the wall
While at the same time working with my colleagues in the normal way
And making sure the old bricks didn't fall.
But now, after several years, the Principal has summoned me
And given me a shocking, new command.
He says it's time to give this old academy a working over,
And he wants the wall off of his land.
No more concern for the PTA, the system, or the old opinions;
Now I must attack the wall again.
Twenty years ago, I know I would danced around with joy,
But I was so much younger and naive back then.
For I can hear the voices in my memories still screaming loudly,
"That old wall must stand, or we'll be lost."
But now I'm being told I have to take it down in one fell swoop,
And I can't help but worry about the cost.
But worst of all, this unexpected order from the power room
Has left me feeling more than just surprised.
And what is more, I find my twenty years of cold experience
Have left my voice and thinking paralyzed.
What do I do now...?
They said they wanted me to help take down a wall.
It was a glory and an honor that I'd never have expected,
So I came out of the airport standing tall.
They showered me with welcome, made me feel just like a hero,
And they said they hoped the wall would soon be gone.
Surrounded on all sides by smiles, armed with my imagination,
I got to the task that I'd been set upon.
I chipped away at those old bricks and howled with every hole I made,
But didn't seem to get so far at all.
It seemed the bricks I knocked away were being put in place again;
Indeed, someone was building back the wall.
It wasn't hard to find the culprits undoing the work I'd done;
It was the ones that I'd been sent to aid!
They said they didn't like the wall but feared they couldn't do without it.
Otherwise, they wouldn't make the grade.
"Please try to understand," they said. "We want you to attack the wall,
"But do not want it ever to come down,
"For if it did, we'd lose our purpose and perhaps our reputation.
"We would be the black sheep of the town."
Appealing to the youth was even less successful in the end.
The wall made them feel safer, it would seem,
And they really only wanted to get by with the least effort,
Join society and flush away their dream.
I realized that from the start I'd only been a token,
Just a figurehead sent by official order.
My purpose shot, I all but ceased my efforts to destroy the wall
And just became a human tape recorder.
Eventually I left that role, and just did what I came upon,
But then one day I got another call.
The mysterious academy that stood upon the forest hill
Was asking me again to face the wall.
Though skeptical, I took the task and found what I expected;
Once again I seemed for nothing but appearance.
But suddenly some reins were handed to me, and a saddle offered.
I was given higher-level clearance.
The wall was mine to strike at will, but caution was required.
Little holes would be allowed there to remain.
But if I made a bigger gap, the backlash was immediate,
And so I stayed content with lesser gain.
One year there was a mighty crash; I'd brought an entire section down,
But instead of praise I received only blame.
Relieved of my position, I was relocated and reinstalled
As punishment for not playing the game.
The leader of the PTA complained it was a waste of time;
He really didn't care if his child learned.
He said, "I'm paying you to get my kid into a college.
"All that education stuff can just be burned."
The students, too, were up in arms about the deed I'd done.
They thought the wall was absolutely necessary.
They'd long been trained to see it as a symbol of their status,
And without it they'd be only ordinary.
From that point on I realized that I would serve my purpose best
By putting little holes in the wall
While at the same time working with my colleagues in the normal way
And making sure the old bricks didn't fall.
But now, after several years, the Principal has summoned me
And given me a shocking, new command.
He says it's time to give this old academy a working over,
And he wants the wall off of his land.
No more concern for the PTA, the system, or the old opinions;
Now I must attack the wall again.
Twenty years ago, I know I would danced around with joy,
But I was so much younger and naive back then.
For I can hear the voices in my memories still screaming loudly,
"That old wall must stand, or we'll be lost."
But now I'm being told I have to take it down in one fell swoop,
And I can't help but worry about the cost.
But worst of all, this unexpected order from the power room
Has left me feeling more than just surprised.
And what is more, I find my twenty years of cold experience
Have left my voice and thinking paralyzed.
What do I do now...?
posted by The Moody Minstrel at
2:05 PM
5 Comments:
A beautiful piece of writing. And not an easy choice. I hope it is OK if I share some musings for you to shake around in your bucket.
History says the Lucy Van Pelt paradigm applies. This time, Charlie Brown, this time.
Sometimes people want what they don't want. For example, I want to lose weight, but it appears that I want cheese more than I want my other goal. I sayI want the thing that sounds good, but my actions show a greater value elsewhere. Maybe they really DO want that wall down, so they seem convincing. Once it starts to happen, the greater wants take over.
This one is harder, and there's a possibility of offending, so please read knowing my loving heart presents this idea and that it applies to me, which is why I wonder if it applies to you. They may be feeding your ego, the background part of you that wants to be special/"the one" -- the subtle thinking that if you say no and someone else says yes, ad they appear to "succeed", then something in your own life will be lost, a defeated dream, a loss of some respect (perhaps from some person who has yours through stature but does not actually deserve it personally...)
Just musings, not saying they are true for you. This is entirely yours to do. I don't have an opinion of a "should". I share my perspectives of my own experiences in case they help. I support you no matter what you choose.
By
Shiny Happy Bird, at 1:17 AM
;) i am a teacher too, and i visit you via Rock Chef's blog. That wall will always be there, no matter what because people build fortifications against what they don't really trust or find weird.
Meeting distrustful and combative parents is not easy. They think they know what is best for their children, but in many cases (here) they are really ignorant of the big picture. They might tell us to teach their children well, but they may never bother to look at their work at home.
So i'll say, you may attack the wall as you please - at your own leisure.
By
Unknown, at 10:36 AM
JennyBird
Thanks for the lovely (psycho)analysis!
Shadowthorne
Welcome, and salute to a brother-in-arms! Thank you very much!
Wall, have at thee!
By
The Moody Minstrel, at 7:17 PM
Now anyone with money can get their kid into college in Japan (with exception of the so called "prestigious" ones), so just aiming at getting kids by the exams is out. Also, in the past the country could get by with mediocre people, but now it needs people who really know what they are doing. A school competing for students needs a new approach, thus the wall must come down.
I say have at it. But wear eye protection and a helmet.
By
Pandabonium, at 10:36 PM
Hello MM, how are you? Advice I have not, but am sure you would have made the wisest choice. Best wishes..
By
HappySurfer, at 8:28 PM
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