Fanfare for an Uncommon Orchestra

I've left for and come back from my one and only bit of work this winter vacation. It was the 2008 All-Japan Selected High School Orchestra Festival (technical but not particularly musical fanfare). This has been a more or less annual duty for me since the first time I accompanied the Ye Olde Academy orchestra there back in 1998. Back then it was a day-and-a-half event involving a total of eighteen orchestras. This year it stretched across three full days and included fifty-six orchestras split into three blocks. (Yes, it has grown a bit.) Since I don't personally direct our school orchestra, my main job on this outing is mainly to help chaperon the several dozen kids that fill its roster as well as serve as a "gopher" (go pher this, go pher that...) for Mssr. Maestro Ogawa. It's a duty that I always enjoy...at least for the most part.

Part One - The Rant
I'll start out by getting the venting out of the way.

• When this event was first conceived and held back in 1996, one of its main overseers was a member of the Imperial Family, and they were very serious about the "Selected" part of the title. In other words, they didn't "select" just any high school orchestra to participate. Receiving an invitation meant that you had been noticed and judged worthy. Our orchestra was first called in the second time the event was held, i.e. in 1997, and we saw it as a tremendous honor. All of the participating orchestras were very talented and capable, and it really meant a lot to us to be considered worthy enough to be counted among them. However, since the mid 2000s the event has been fully in the hands of the Japan Youth Orchestra Federation, and they are dominated by a very left-wing, "we're all equal, we're all beautiful, we're all happy," philosophy. In other words, there are no longer any standards; they invite whoever seems to be able and willing to come. That means that, while there are still many truly impressive high school orchestras on the (steadily bloating) program, it also means there are some groups that get up there and just make fools of themselves. Yes, I know - they're all proud to have their turn in the spotlight, and they're all doing the best with what they have, but it's still sad to see kids who flat out don't know how to play their instruments get up in front of a very demanding audience, try to play a tune that's clearly over their heads, and wind up being laughed at. Frankly, I feel sorry for them. Left-leaning though I tend to be in the political arena, there are times when I think forced equality is a bad idea. This is one of them.
• As if to underscore the point, during the opening ceremony one of the reps from the Japan Youth Orchestra Federation got up on stage and lectured everybody as to how to fill out the comment cards they're supposed to send to all the other orchestras. "Don't write any negative or critical comments," he said. "They just make people unhappy. Write only happy, encouraging comments!" Heck, if you're going to be that PC, why have the kids write anything at all? Just give them all standardized ink stamps that say, "Nice job!" That way EVERYONE is equal, EVERYONE is beautiful, EVERYONE is happy! (RETCH!)(No, I'm not a believer in PC.)
• The PC stupidity also wrecked extended to the "selective ensemble" performances. They used to be purely "participation by audition only", i.e. the creme de la creme, and they were always excellent and a delight to listen to. Again, starting a few years ago when the JYOF assumed full control, it was taken over by that same "everyone is equal" philosophy. In other words, every participating orchestra was given an equal share, with the parts each filled decided by random drawing. I think you can guess the result. There were some very talented kids up there. There were also some poor souls that were totally ill-suited for the tough tunes they were called upon to play and probably had no business trying. You know the old adage, "The road to ruin is paved with good intentions"? That pretty much sums it up.
  
• The Nippon Seinenkan, the culture/convention center where they hold this event every year, was barely big enough for everybody back when there were only 18 orchestras participating. 56? Forget it. Our reserved section in the hall (which kept getting moved and resized as the event progressed) didn't have enough seats for everyone, so I wound up spending much if not most of the time either sitting in the lobby listening to the performances via the PA or parked on a bench over in the convention center section reading a book. Meanwhile, it was so packed that getting from place to place was always a problem. We were also rudely booted out of our assigned luggage storage area halfway through the second day so another school could use it, meaning we had to tote our bags and cases with us for several hours. No, it wasn't fun.

What the Sam Hill (whoever the hell he was) is a "fire emergent phone"??!? Cell phone pic taken at the Nihon Seinenkan.

Part Two - The Cheer
Don't get me wrong; there are usually a lot of good things about this event, and this year was no exception.

• The Ye Olde Academy orchestra continued its tradition of audacity this year. We've always had a tendency to play tunes most school orchestras don't and avoid those that they do. Our program this year was a salute to Aaron Copland and included two numbers. The first was "Fanfare for the Common Man", and it was performed by only our brass and percussion sections with the rest of the orchestra waiting offstage. Considering the kids had to play the thing cold after a half-hour wait backstage, I was really worried. Yes, the opening trumpet blare skidded a bit and it took a bit for the horns to get into gear, but once they got into the groove they sounded great. The one that really stole the show, however, was the 7th grade girl (in bright red) who conducted. Once that was done, the full orchestra came in, Mssr. Maestro Ogawa took the baton, and they performed El Salon Mexico, which is a very tricky and demanding piece to play, but the kids pulled it off nicely with some brilliant solo work from the trumpet, clarinet, bassoon, and cello sections. The percussion section also wowed with the interesting array of instruments and toys they brought out. All in all, it wasn't a perfect performance, but it was still a very good one and earned us lots of praise.
• Speaking of which, it is always welcome and meaningful to get both positive feedback and useful, constructive comments from orchestras which are clearly more capable than us, particularly those that are fortunate enough (grr...) to have elite music major programs (which is generally why they are more capable than us). It is always an honor and a pleasure to be compared with such power groups, to be ranked among them, and even to be considered by them to be on their level. Considering what we have had to work with over the years, I'd say Mssr. Maestro Ogawa and his various trainer friends, not to mention the kids themselves, have accomplished a lot...and the fact that they enjoy doing it rather than treat it as a duty says a lot.
  
• On the other hand, at the risk of sounding arrogant (but hey...I'm a bit spoiled in this respect, right?), it's always extremely amusing when members of orchestras which are clearly NOT at our level try to lecture us as to how we should run our program. "You sit too deeply in your chairs," ranted a member of one VERY weak orchestra in his/her comment card. "Sitting fully erect on the edge of your chair to keep your upper body free is one of the most basic rules of music! I also saw a couple of violins whose bowing was out of sync! And one of your doublebasses was holding her instrument funny! If you can't even master such fundamentals, you have no business performing on stage!" Um...why don't we talk about the log in YOUR eye while we're at it, huh?
• The orchestra that followed us, a group from a very reputable school (with an elite music major course)(grr...) in faraway Fukuoka making its first-ever appearance here, was awesome. They more or less blew us away with an excellent combination of Verdi and Star Wars. But we were fortunate in that we shared our storage room and hotel with them, and they were a great bunch. I have found that it is often (though definitely not always) the case that the best orchestras, the ones that are really good, quite often have good attitudes to go with their abilities, whereas it's the pretentious ones that tend to be insufferable snobs. That worries me, however, because I've noticed our own kids tend to be rather cold...
• Our 11th graders did their best to manage things efficiently and effectively. I'd say they did a good job in terms of showing leadership, teamwork, and responsibility. I'd say they showed some flaws, however, when it came to coming up with a plan and sticking to it, because they didn't. What they wound up doing was quite often very different from what they'd said, and that did lead to some confusion. It was a good thing that they were attentive enough to avoid disaster, because we did come close on a few occasions. But at least they really were doing their best, i.e. no one was shirking his or her responsibility.
• Once again the teachers and alums got together for dinner at the usual French restaurant in Shinjuku (a tradition for the past few years). I always enjoy going there, though I have to say I didn't really enjoy squabbling with Mssr. Maestro Ogawa over matters concerning the Kashima Philharmonic. Perhaps it was inevitable, especially considering the position I've wound up in, but I'd still rather it didn't happen.
• I got sick of sitting out in the lobby (i.e. my butt was getting sore), so I went for a walk during the last hour of performances (missing some of the worst, I was later told). I was actually looking for a coffee shop such as Starbucks, but I didn't find any. What I did find was an interesting shopping strip with several boutiques, restaurants to keep in mind, and some novelty shops that I wish I'd had more time to check out. I also enjoyed looking at the Christmas light displays that were still out and in full swing. Ironically, there was a new Starbucks at the highway rest area we stopped at on the way home, so I was able to get a grande-size mocha.
• Now that that's over, I have a full week free of work or anything other than family business. Whatever am I going to do with myself? :-)
  

The Proof Is In The P...er...

I remember some years back I heard a report released by a scientist suggesting that the electromagnetic radiation from devices such as cell phones and wireless connections could cause organic damage to the brain, leading to a decrease in concentration and an increase in aggressiveness. In short, it causes people to act less like human beings and more like animals. The report didn't get a whole lot of public acknowledgment (which doesn't really surprise me), though I remember it did give Rush Limbaugh something to guffaw at.

I also remember hearing a report from scientists saying that many of the plastics we use in everyday life, particularly polystyrene, contain chemicals that act as hormone emulators. In other words, heavy exposure to such plastics could literally turn boys into girls, and vice versa. Unlike the cell phone brain damage theory, this report got considerable public attention. In fact, it became the health scare du jour for a very brief period right around the turn of the century. As with most such things, however, it soon became forgotten, and polystyrene dishware is once again a common sight.

I really have to wonder if one or both of these theories might explain why, with each successive, new crop of 7th graders entering Ye Olde Academy, the boys keep getting wimpier and more childish while the girls keep getting more obnoxious and aggressive. The group we have right now seems almost the exact reverse of what was there ten years ago.

I don't know about you, but this is weird. It's bad enough that the 8th grade girls, whose homerooms are right outside the staff room, seem utterly incapable of saying anything to each other without shrieking it (and those are the SMART ones!), but when I see little, pint-sized girls, cute as a button and dainty-looking in their crisp, new uniforms, noisomely bad-mouthing their teachers and openly flouting the rules after less than a week at their new school, I tend to think something is wrong. Maybe Japan, and this "exclusive" school where I continue to work, have spoiled me, but this definitely calls for a reality check.

I don't even want to get into what some of the boys are like. Let's just say we may need genetic proof of both gender and species...

Evens and Beginnings

Since its birth in 1997, the Seishin Flying Eggheads has seen its schedule fill up more and more. Of course, there are the annual concerts. Those are always good. However, even better are the invitations we're getting more and more often to play at local events. In other words, we've managed to establish a reputation, and that has led to increased demand. I'd call that a sign that we're doing something right.

Last Saturday was such an occasion. The Eggheads were asked be the main attraction at a PTA "cultural appreciation" event at a local elementary school. It was the first time we'd ever been asked to do such a thing. We received the invitation to play it just over a month ago, and since it wound up falling at a really bad time (the day after final exam week, i.e. two weeks without rehearsal) we weren't sure we could pull it off, but we went for it anyway. It just seemed too good to pass up! Then the 11th grade members of the band asked me to leave the planning up to them. I admit I had my misgivings, but they managed to come up with an interesting program.

Fortunately, last Saturday was an "off day" for the students, which helped a lot. The nearness of the elementary school meant that transportation could be kept to a minimum, which also helped. We had to perform in the gym, as expected, but it had a pretty good stage and risers, so we could set up in staggered levels like we usually do. They also had wireless mikes and a decent-sounding PA system...a surprise considering the kind of budget most public elementary schools (don't) have. Unfortunately, I had completely forgotten to prepare a concert program to hand out to the audience, so I had to whip one up on a computer in the main office. Good enough for government work...and the government is my audience rather than my employer!

The parents came in first, and they greeted us with cold stares. Ye Olde Academy has a bit of a mixed reputation in these parts. Yes, we are the only elite private junior/senior high school in the area, and, yes, we do have reputable academic, cultural, and sports programs. However, we are also known as being something of a haven for rich brats. People see the name of the school, and quite often the first thing that pops into their heads is the word "snob". The fact that the director of this band is a gaijin didn't help, either. The children, however, were excited when they come in, and they entertained us with their amusing banter (and cute attempts to read my name on the program). My only worry was that the first graders were sitting so close to where I'd be directing...with my back to them.

We performed some tunes the 11th graders pulled out of our performance folder, all of which (amazingly) were old swing standards. The 11th graders also formed a combo and performed a Basie-style swing version of "Winnie the Pooh" arranged by yours truly. However, the most entertaining part of the program, amazingly enough, was the little quiz program the 11th graders put on. At the first sight of the word "quiz" on the program I was worried our grade-school audience would quickly fall apart, but our kids managed to keep them entertained till the end. The high point had to have been when they suddenly formed a recorder ensemble (including piccolo, sopranino, soprano, alto, tenor, and bass recorders...most of which the grade schoolers had never heard of before, let alone seen), played a "mystery tune", and then asked the audience to "name that tune". I then gave them the correct answer and kicked off the Glenn Miller version of the same song: "Little Brown Jug". We closed with a fast-tempo medley of "It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)" and "Sing, Sing, Sing" followed by an encore of "In The Mood". Those tunes have been appearing on the TV a lot recently for various reasons, and the children loved it.

In fact, a lot of them hung around and waved at us (with lots of giggling, of course) as we were breaking down our gear to leave (and none of them attacked me, thank God). All and all, it was a lot of fun, and I hope we can do this sort of of thing again soon!

***

My uncle-in-law takes his carpentry work very seriously, and his attitude shows it. for one thing, he doesn't scrimp when it comes to his tools. My father-in-law, on the other hand, believes that cheapness is next to godliness, so his tool cabinet is naturally stocked with bargain-bin fare. That drives my uncle-in-law bananas, and he has been doing a lot of griping about the "cheap junk" he has to use to work on our house. He has also been making frequent trips to the local hardware stores to replace things when his patience runs out.

Yesterday (Sunday) dad-in-law was out, so my uncle-in-law asked me to run him down to the big Honda Home Center in Itako. Apparently the 12-volt impact driver he'd borrowed from dad-in-law just wasn't cutting the mustard (or the cement, as it turned out), so he wanted to get a much better, 14.4-volt model. As soon as we walked into the tool section at HHC the clerk there took one look at us and froze. My uncle-in-law is already a well-known and much-feared figure there. He is a very demanding customer. However, the clerk responded promptly to my uncle-in-law's authoritative wave.

12-volt impact drivers are not so expensive. 14.4-volt ones are. Very. The most reasonably-priced one we saw there was a Bosch model in the sale aisle for 22,000 yen (about $200). My uncle-in-law insisted on seeing more, so the clerk led us to the main power tool aisle. The Mitsubishi and Hitachi power drivers there were 36,000 yen and up. What really bugged me wasn't so much the price as the style of the things. I mean, I've heard of heavy metal tools, but this was ridiculous! Those power drivers were all either bright pink, orange, or yellow and were tricked out with fancy silver and gray ornamentation that I could only call Gothic. They looked like ray guns from a children's sci-fi drama...like Power Rangers or Gundam or something. In fact, I'm sure that's what they were meant to look like. I'd understand if it were a toy, but...a $300 power drill? Or was the look the reason for the price?

Needless to say, my uncle-in-law bought the plain, European-green Bosch, and it seems to work just fine.

***

Today I was looking out the window of the junior high staff room at Ye Olde Academy when I saw a frightening sight. There was a strong wind gusting outside, and I was watching the sugi trees around the parking lot dance when suddenly two or three of them erupted into a thick cloud of smoke. I thought for sure they were on fire until I realized that the "smoke" had a greenish tint. It was a blast of pure pollen. We just hit the peak of the pollen season. I'm thankful for that strong wind helping get rid of it all in one go. I'm also thankful I'm inside.

***

No vegetables today, but I will say with happiness that my 7th grade students did really, really well on their final exam for my class. Considering their dismal performance last term and on the last midterm, it's nothing short of miraculous, especially considering this last exam was longer and far more difficult than any test I'd given them before. I mean, we're talking a jump in average score from fifty-something percent to eighty percent. So what happened? It's hard to say. Maybe the weekly review quizzes I started after last September's disastrous final paid off. Maybe the longer time they had to take my test (fifty minutes instead of fifteen) helped. Maybe they just finally woke up and smelled the tea. I don't know. It's probably better not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I'll end the discussion here.